So, how do you connect?

Since I am the only person in this entire organization that has ever used Linux (and have just introduced the first Linux server into this very large – Windows based company). The project requires development on a LAMP stack in order to cut costs, stay competitive, and offer an open source – stable – product. I have no problem developing and maintaining enterprise applications, on LAMP, by myself. However – this project has now been moved to “AGILE” project management (More work, less people, quicker deliveries). So you want a prototype by end of the month and we haven’t even started working. Cool.

I thought it was nice that they are trying to make this impossible deadline by providing me with all the help they can afford to spare.

PM: “Here are four developers to you help you! I am awesome”
ME: “Oh, great! What’s your experience in everyone?”
01: “I’ve been developing ASP/.NET Applications for 10 years”
02: “I’ve been developing APS/.NET Applications for 8 years”
03: “I’ve been managing Microsoft SQL Servers for 5 years”
04: “I’m a Microsoft Sharepoint Designer and ASP developer”
ME: *FACEPALM* – “Do any of you know what Linux is?”

Most people answer “Free operating system”

ME: “Has anyone ever used PHP before?”

Some slight nods of heads – maybe this isn’t so bad…

ME: “Does anyone know what PHP stands for?”

No one even knows. I don’t expect php developers to really know this answer either (Well I kind of do actually) but still. If you’re going to fake it – at least try. I appreciate the effort but you’ve given me a lot of what I don’t need.

So I continue with this charade. I’m running OpenVZ on CentOS 5.4 and have setup a standalone MySQL container, and then a few development containers and a “stable” container. It’s my style of management. I send out each ASP developer a set of links about using Linux, their logins (with root) for each of their containers, and tell them “Read the documents, give it a shot, ask me if you have any questions” About 30 minutes later they all walk into my office (Most are twice my age) they come saying

“We can’t connect to the server”
ME: “Let me take a look”
*Loads terminal and connects*
ME: “What are you guys trying”
“Remote Desktop Tool”
ME: “That’s to connect to Windows via GUI – this is a server environment, there is no GUI. Go back and read my email again. Download PuTTy. Use command line.”

It’s going to be a long project.